All the diets

So I have tried them all.

Weight watchers, Lite N Easy, Celebrity Slim, 12wbt, 5:2, 16:8, low calorie, no carb, juice, Tony Ferguson, Duromine, HCG, no food and the break up diet.

I must admit I did have some success with the break up diet especially. The emotional upheaval of the end of an 8 year relationship saw me lose much of the weight I had gained in said relationship. However by the time I had been dating my now husband for 6 months I’d gained it back plus more. The coccoon of happiness in a new relationship is a breeding ground for weight gain. We happily spent our weekends holed up in his apartment leaving only to get food and returning to eat it in front of the TV or picnicing on the bedroom floor.

Five years later we are married and have two children. Needless to say I haven’t lost the new relationship, new baby or second baby weight as yet.

I cant help but wonder why it is I can’t commit to losing weight. I’m completely unhappy at the weight I am, and I feel it holds me back in almost every part of my life. And yet I continue to justify to myself why I need to satisfy a craving for something that is no good for me.

I hate looking in the mirror, I hate for my husband to see me naked, I worry about the message I am sending to my children about food and body image, I wonder if I can’t find a job as people think I look too fat to be a good roll model, I hate not being able to fit into nice clothes, I hate feeling so incredibly self conscious that some days I prefer not to leave the house, and most of all I worry about what I am doing to my health and if I will be around to see my children grow up…